It has been many mouths since I have posted on this blog. The reasoning? The excuses? I'm not sure. I still think I just needed time to think. A three month thinking endeavor to free up the emotional constipation that started during Tet. Da Lat is a great place to think. Sometimes that's all there is to do. It provides the space, the air, and the elevation for “lofty” thinking. Here is an assembly of some thoughts:
Tet:
I'm worried this might be my first and last Tet with my grandmother. She's weak, and constantly thinks of death, and tells the family so. We sit and tell her it's not her time. But we all know it nears. Her health reaffirms my long established philosophy that I want to my own life to be meaningful. Meaningful to who and how are questions I still have to figure out. In Vietnam, meaningful takes on the perspective of family. You work to make a meaningful guidance within your family, and I guess to do that, I would need to start thinking about settling down, and starting up. I believe this is the mirco-perspective. It's something we all have to think about eventually, I have been thinking about it a lot. It was only a year ago that I set out on this voyage thinking much more macro-spectively. I wanted to see the world, learn, and somehow work to change and contribute to something larger. I don't see this perspective as fool-hearted. It's not something that one can extinguished if it burns from within. But more and more, the path of being meaningful to a few and the path of making a difference to many are diverging in my mind. When I talk to grandmother, meaningful is how it feels.
Teaching:
I'm going to miss my classes. I made friends here that I hope the absolute best for. I realize I'm glad to have been placed in Da Lat because the students here are of modest to poor background. I see in them a strong determination to escape the poverty in which they endured. I see an acceptance of modesty in their social status but the willingness ( a zest almost) to share what they have. I see in them an appreciation of happiness.
Drinking:
This was my last night in Da Lat with the sociology crew. We drank 6 bottles a lot of Ukrainian Vodka. I passed out at the Karoke bar, and woke up in Vu's room. Goodbyes are best if you don't remember them. It's the Da Lat way.
Home:
I miss it. Miss my family. I miss driving. I miss an animal-style In-n-Out burger and fries. I miss my friends, BBQ, BBQ sauce, watching movies, and I miss my cat, Off.
A Bad Night:
You know it's a bad night when you wake up the next morning with street candy and wild horse cigarettes.
TV:
Sometimes when I'm bored, and there's a cable TV around, I watch the many animal rescue shows that are on and laugh aloud to myself knowing that I'm watching them in Vietnam. There's a lot of copy cat shows in Vietnam, but you'll never see a Vietnam adaptation of Animal Cops.
Side note, some of the funniest things I have ever seen on TV has to be Vietnamese infomercials. Most of the product beings sold are just left overs of crap they couldn't sell in the US. Remember your bow flex? Thigh master? Well, they found a convalescent market in SE Asia. And the corniness of those infomercials are amped up and dubbed over, you have to see it to believe it.
ICR:
For those that don't already know, I have decided to stay in Vietnam for another year. I have taken a new job that will require a move to Hanoi. I'm excited to try something new that will provide a better pay, but I'm worried about the heat and the long time spent away from friends and family back home. Two years is a long time, and there's bound to be some initial disconnect when I return. It's a risk that I took on the faith that the friendships I have made are strong enough to withstand two years. I'm excited for Hanoi, but I do realize it will require a learning curve. I'm a southern raised boy, and the north can feel very out of place for me.
Da Lat:
Now that I know I'm leaving Da Lat, I realize that Da Lat taught me the lesson of simplicity. It's not hard, but I think the depths of such things are hard to understand when your perspective has been cultivated in a very different world. Here, the energy and demands of urbanites are brought in by the tourists, and lingers in the tourist havens. Walk away from them, and you'll see a city where people live their lives, grow their food, and watch the clouds then the rains and then the stars. I have, and I'm thankful for it. Sometimes you just need to get just a bit higher to see it a little differently.
Since I will no longer be in Da Lat, I feel a blog titled High on Da Lat would be wrong. And so, I have decided to end this series of blogs. I will continue to write online and update on Facebook.
